The Ride Or Die
To the gates of hell and beyond
Who is he?
The one who will help you hide the bodies the day you finally go psycho.
He's your emergency contact. Your backup plan. The one who knows your username and password. Your one and only partner in crime.
No matter how ugly it gets, he's got your back. Not just for the highs but also when it really matters. When you're puking your soul out after a wild night out, when you're lying to your boss, hungover or heartbroken, when you need bail money or an alibi. The one who knows exactly what to say when you call him on speaker phone.
He's loyal like the elastic on your underwear. But not only to defend you when you're right but also to slap you in the face when you're not. He’ll pull you up when you’re down and calm you when you're broken, then roast you like a prick as soon as it gets better.
Really the only question left, is how he has seen the best and worse of you and still thinks you’re a decent human being?
Remember Dominic Toretto? "I got family." He would literally risk nuclear war 'cause if we go down, we go down together. You just know he'll never leave you alone with your own stupidity.
He's your unpaid bodyguard, your therapist, your getaway driver. The one who will rip the world apart for you and with you... The guy you would want to leave your wife with after you die.
Ok maybe not that much.
But for laughing or crying, for living or dying...
Ride or die, bitch.
He's your emergency contact. Your backup plan. The one who knows your username and password. Your one and only partner in crime.
No matter how ugly it gets, he's got your back. Not just for the highs but also when it really matters. When you're puking your soul out after a wild night out, when you're lying to your boss, hungover or heartbroken, when you need bail money or an alibi. The one who knows exactly what to say when you call him on speaker phone.
He's loyal like the elastic on your underwear. But not only to defend you when you're right but also to slap you in the face when you're not. He’ll pull you up when you’re down and calm you when you're broken, then roast you like a prick as soon as it gets better.
Really the only question left, is how he has seen the best and worse of you and still thinks you’re a decent human being?
Remember Dominic Toretto? "I got family." He would literally risk nuclear war 'cause if we go down, we go down together. You just know he'll never leave you alone with your own stupidity.
He's your unpaid bodyguard, your therapist, your getaway driver. The one who will rip the world apart for you and with you... The guy you would want to leave your wife with after you die.
Ok maybe not that much.
But for laughing or crying, for living or dying...
Ride or die, bitch.
💬 He sounds like...
"Ok now we just have to make sure nobody finds out."
"Wait, are you stupid?"
"Before you say anything, set your texts to auto delete"
"Well at least we're going to hell together"
"Ugh... Here we go again..."
🤐 Things He’d Never Say...
Not my problem.
You’re on your own
We've created a token to capture his personality...
Celebrate his vibe with us