The Bullshitologist

The guy who has a thing for making up stories just to see how much of it people will believe.

It's like a superpower he has that makes you play his favourite game, where he'll casually slide a story that doesn't make any sense, but somehow it also does. A story that sounds too real to be made up, but also too fantastic to be true. A story for you to question. Or not.

And once the story has begun, it is your turn to find the bullshit.

You ask him about the scar on his face. He says, "Shark attack."

You laugh, of course. But he doesn’t.

So now you’re listening.

Whatever comes next, might even be true (Or a very exaggerated version of the truth). But it doesn't really matter, because your attention is already on him. He wins.

When he smiles, he does it like he knows something you don’t. Most likely he doesn’t. But you believe he does.

And when he talks, he does it with confidence, with a certainty that relaxes you and a straight face that fumbles you just enough, so you don’t think and look it up. Even when you know that half his stories sound fake and the other half sounds even worse.

He's the guy who has mastered the art of bullshit. The guy who can say nothing and make it sound like everything. The king of flirting and the master of getting out of trouble.

The guy who can win an argument he wasn’t part of… about a topic he didn't even know.


P.S.

These are facts:

- Bananas are berries. Strawberries are not.
- You have 33 different senses, not 5.
- Sloths can hold their breath longer than dolphins

Now you're wondering. Are they facts? Are they not? Is any of them real? Maybe all of them?

And now you'll have to look it up.

And now you're playing his game.

He wins.